Caregiving Advice

  By tapping into the five senses, you may discover brand new ways to care for yourself and for others! Here are a few ways we make our caregiving space comfortable for my grandmom and our family, and welcoming for any outside care providers coming in (hospice nurses, therapists, respite, friends, etc.). Sight We try to keep my grandmom’s room bright with lots of lamps and open windows. And we keep the decor cheerful, bold (so my grandmom can easily see it), and seasonal. Hearing Usually, there’s music playing somewhere in the house so it can be heard from my grandmom’s room, but far enough away that it isn’t the only thing her hearing device picks up. We also try to laugh a lot and avoid dwelling on any sad topic for too long in conversation, so there is plenty of positive energy to go around. Smell Keeping candles and fresh flowers around as much as possible is a game-changer! We also make sure there’s a lot of airflow and open windows so the atmosphere feels fresh and not stuffy...

  Self-care, self-care, self-care: You hear the words so often that you probably get sick of them. And instead of making you think of rest and relaxation, maybe the word triggers feelings of pressure or guilt ( I know I need self-care, but how will I ever fit it in? ). Or maybe you just don’t know where to start. You could be blindfolded in a room full of people who need to be cared for, and in that situation, you’re fully equipped, ready to meet whatever needs to present themselves. But caring for yourself — not so much. Sound familiar? When you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or just drawing a blank, try one of these three simple entry points to self-care. Nature Eliza:  I recently visited this beautiful, 60-acre garden that’s nearby. My family put it on our calendars months ago and did what we needed to do to make sure we could all go. Art Michelle:  I adore this colorful piece by a fellow caregiver who over the years has also become a steadfast friend. This piece is ca...

  If you haven’t seen the top of your dining room table for a while because of caregiving paperwork, you’re in good company. I recently shared my own messy pile of health care papers (from just one month into breast cancer diagnosis/treatment) on Instagram, and the “Yep, looks familiar!” responses are still rolling in. In addition to my own stacks of pre-authorizations, discharge instructions, diagnostic reports, treatment plans, bills, scripts, and more, I’m also constantly fighting the slog of paperwork that accompanies caring for a child with special needs: Individualized Education Plans, or IEPs (which are 40+ pages each and I have several copies for every year she’s had a new or revised one), hospital admissions/after-visit summaries, benefits statements, Medical Assistance renewal applications, and more. Even with so many things being online and digital, the amount of paper generated around all types of caregiving situations is unreal. Full disclosure:  sharing these tip...

  Caregiving can be an isolating experience. On any given day—or in the span of just a few hours—you may feel drained, emotional, lonely. You might feel misunderstood—or sometimes, you might even feel forgotten. But there’s beauty in turning to others’ writings in times of hardship. Through the power of their mere words, we find the assurance that we’re not alone in what we’re experiencing. C.S. Lewis once wrote, “The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one.’ And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude.” And I believe that very same feeling is what it’s like to find a comrade through written words. Our hope, caregivers, is that you’ll find comradeship and comfort in these 5 quotes about the caregiving experience: Sometimes asking a question is the most healing thing we can do for another. We don’t have to have all of the answers, but showing others that we’re there and we want to be there is a deepl...

  Being included is what makes a person feel respected, proud, and important. And inclusion contributes to one’s sense of self-worth in a huge way. That’s why it’s a huge part of caregiving—whether you’re caring for someone who’s 9 or 99! Doing  with  instead of doing  for:  that’s what person-centered care is all about. Including your son with special needs in decisions. Engaging your mom with MS in day-to-day tasks. Acknowledging your aging parents’ opinions and beliefs matters. These are all ways to honor your caree’s autonomy and nurture a sense of self-worth. Include your loved one in big decisions. Last week, my grandmom’s refrigerator stopped working. While she wasn’t able to contribute much in the physical areas of cleaning out the fridge or going out refrigerator shopping, she truly enjoyed looking at the pictures and pamphlets we brought back from the appliance store. We left the paperwork with her, and she studied it all day long. Sometimes I forget t...