Caregiving Advice

Turn to the healing nature of the sun In addition to our weekly #caregivinghacks posts, we’re layering in #selfcarehacks—because to care for others, we also have to care for ourselves. Check out Eliza’s simple ideas for sun-infused self-care here, and follow us on Instagram for more inspiration. Simply Sit in the  SUN My mom deeply ingrained this form of self-care in my brain. Growing up, sitting in the sun was her cure for everything. Feeling sick? Sit in the sun. Have a pesky pimple? Sit in the sun. Feeling sad? Sit in the sun. I was raised with the belief that the sun was the first step to feeling better, and that there’s always a few minutes in a day to pause and enjoy the warmth of the beams. This was the one form of self-care I witnessed my mom doing regularly, and I’m so glad she instilled the importance of that simple but powerful habit in me. The next time you have a sunny day where you live, I hope you remember that there’s always a few minutes to sit in the sun...

A collection of “watch as I do” prompts for your caregiving routine This week, Eliza shares the beautiful ways she and her family engage their beloved AJ in daily tasks—everything from coloring pages to paying bills. Encourage participation by  example. If your loved one does not engage with creative activities like coloring pages, try doing the activity yourself in front of them. (There may be many reasons they don’t engage: for my grandmom, it’s a combination of arthritic hands and lack of interest.)  My grandmom loves bold colors, beautiful things, and when we interact with her. She just doesn’t like coloring on her own. But a few weeks ago, when my mom and I sat and colored in front of AJ — occasionally having her pick the next color, holding it up every so often so she could get a different perspective, guiding her hand to feel the waxy texture — she was engaged, interested, and excited! What’s something your caree doesn’t seem interested in when it’s presented, but still...

  Caregiving can often seem like a complex maze that you’ve been stranded in to navigate yourself. And when that happens, it’s helpful to get down to the brass tacks of what caregiving is at the core: figuring out what’s most important to the person for whom you care. One way our family has done this while caring for AJ, my beloved grandmother? We think about what she used to enjoy doing for herself before she developed dementia—and before she was bedridden. We think about the ways she used to prioritize herself. Things that used to make her happy. Things that would remind us of her if we saw them in a store. These are good places to start. Here are three specific ways we honor AJ’s personhood in ways that meet her where she is now. We keep her in the loop of  laughter. AJ has always seemed the happiest to me when she is playful, joking, not being taken too seriously, teasing, and “in the know.” So none of my family members have let up on teasing her just as much as we tease e...

Because we’re caregivers who are also writers, we love discovering new words for feelings we might experience in the caregiving life. Here, we’ve assembled a few of our recent finds. Shoshin This word is taken from Zen Buddhism, meaning “to approach with an attitude of openness and lack of preconception.” How wonderful the world of caregiving would be if we could enter each others’ stories with open minds. And how wonderful life would be if we could go about it with the eagerness of a beginner, instead of the weariness we often feel. I challenge you to view today with beginner’s eyes: what is strikingly beautiful about the surroundings that you’ve grown used to? What is extremely difficult that you don’t give yourself enough credit for tackling day after day? What fills your heart? What breaks your heart? What would a beginner think of your caregiving life? Think about these questions as you go about your week. If you have a chance, jot down the answers in a journal or talk them throug...